I was about to turn 15 when I crawled out of this window in the middle of the night with a girl named Angie. I don’t have a clue where we went or what we did that night. I wasn’t delicate or elegant getting through the window and when I had my first female exam, my doctor asked a few times what happened to me because there was bruising all over my inner thighs.
I’m betting we went to see a boy named Greg. He was the person I chose to get my first time over with. In that, he’s cute and I am not in love with him, but I like him so no regrets. It was simple, kinda. Unless you know the backstory, that wasn’t so simple, but the narrative I was going for personally worked so I guess you take some hits when you come at something with that selfish, teen indulgence.
I never liked this window, unless I am just putting on makeup; the lighting the window lets in is nice. But I hate showering because even if it is frosted and no one can see, taking a shower at night or in the wee morning is off-putting to me. I can be a little neurotic though and I watch and have watched a lot of true crime.
I took this photo of the bathroom yesterday after I finished wiping and disinfecting all of its surfaces. The objects, the light, the look, all of it I just wanted to capture. That’s what happens for me and maybe a lot of photographers, I see something — the bend of a tree, the light through a window, the look on a persons face — and I am compelled to procure the nearest camera and snap. I have created photos, but my favorite kind are just there. Candid, natural, needing preservation if only for a short period of time.
And maybe what I see is not seen by others, but that’s not the goal as much as can I capture what I see or how I am seeing someone or something. That’s probably very amateur of me, but I have yet thought of the business of photography. I love the art and it’s probably why Instagram is my favorite social media. Sometimes I cannot capture exactly how I see things and that sucks, but when I do I get a rush. Everyone likes a rush.
Photo (color & black and white) © Sarah Jane 2020. Don’t steal.